*Warning! This post contains no knitting content whatsoever*
I shouldn't be here! I SHOULD be in bed still - I am between nights. In fact when the morning comes I will have worked eight out of the last twelve nights. We have been so short of staff recently and morale is so low, but you just keep plodding on don't you. Or try to.
We have officially been terminated - or at least received our letters of termination for the end of the month. Then it's hey ho and all change and a life of profit margins and targets.
Bearing in mind that we have been TUPE'D over on existing terms and conditions, had one-to-one meetings where concerns have been adressed and reassurances made, to have had this dragging on for a year now is inexcusable and demoralising, and it wears you down, all this uncertainty, and how I'm still in one piece I don't know. Some of my colleagues aren't. In one piece that is. A year ago I wouldn't have been either, and in a way I'm quite proud of myself for still being here. You would not believe the half of it though.
I the last 24 hours I have had to try to console two colleagues who are inconsolable, the last one being my work colleague tonight who phoned in sick at 7:30 this morning. That leaves me the only nurse triaging calls from members of the public in the entire county on tonight's shift - when the twilight girls go home at 11:30 that's me folks. Me, and three countywide doctors and Primary Care Centres to deal with. Really conducive to a good day's sleeep is that knowledge.
This afternoon at 4:00 pm I have to book my new shifts on-line. FOR OCTOBER! Normally I would not be doing do until the first Wednesday of the month, but I received a text message - yes that's right, a text message at 4:00 pm yesterday informing me of this. To be fair though, that didn't come from the new folks, but from our office, who were trying their best to let us all know.
I am quite sure the site will crash. Up till now we have had staggered booking times for doctors, nurses and receptionists as the website can't cope with all of us at once and crashes. No staggering today though, oh no!
There are around half the usual number of shifts to book. Only one night shift ( the plan is to employ a call handler and a nurse at night it seems ) and so suddenly it's all change. Evening shifts, weekend shifts, are reduced in number and shift duration, with a night duty commencing at midnight. So even if I DO manage to book two nights, I shall still have four hours to find. Other shifts of course are being changed into call handler shifts ( which are of course the less expensive option ) so my role will be to ring people back, not answer the phone to them and deal
with them at first point of contact.
There is far more going on - but I have to remember that I am a professional. I haven't mentioned here the PCT or company involved, and won't. But I have had enough of both of them.
None of this will make any sense to you all probably. I've just had enough today - in fact I'm right up to here with it all. I don't do going off sick so I shall do my best tonight, but it will be hard.
This September SHOULD have seen me complete 35 years of working in the NHS. I have never ever wanted to be or do anything else, my back injury - and that was work induced - precludes me from many of the hands-on jobs that I could apply for. At the moment, let me tell you that Marks and Spencer is looking highly attractive.
PS I have been trying to keep going and stay chirpy for the TdF KAL, but I haven't been posting on CTNY. I do miss you all girls if any of you are reading, and am lurking a little, but I'm just not feeling sociable at present. I will be back though. I didn't want to come on there and post this, goodness knows I've off loaded there a lot recently to try to keep my blog neutral, and it doesn't seem right somehow. But as is MY space perhaps I can be excused for having a little moan and rant here.
Oh - and I am going to see Leonard Cohen on Thursday. Now THAT will cheer me up won't it ;-)